Vol. 3 No. 2www.talesofedbaker.comMonday July 12, 20101 page
Lula the Water Nymph at the Magic Marketplace!

Hello! My name is Lula. I am a water nymph with beautiful blue hair and emerald green skin. My friends say that I am overconfident and very serious, although I just think they are jealous! I think of myself as attractive, delicate and very intelligent. I love to swim with my darlings and friends. My best friend is Harmony. She is a mermaid, and like me, she can sing like a lark. Not too long ago a wizard named Mufalablad dumped a monster with four eyes that looked like a cross between a dragon and a shark in my river! So I made a pact with him, I would not harm him as long as he never did that again. And if he did he would have to do whatever I said. The next week the exact same wizard dumped a troll with three heads and a pile of trash! I got mad at him and it was only then that he recognized me. He remembered our pact so I demanded a beautiful, big and magical gift. He gave me a carpet that will fly you back or forward in time! It had golden thread and there were beautiful blue swans and tropical fish on it! Now I don't like traveling without my darlings (my fish and other creatures in my river) so I asked my friends what to do. They said that I could sell it here, at the magic market or the MM as we call it. I took their advice and now here I am! I'm selling my beautiful magic carpet that can travel through time! Come here and buy it! Think of how convenient it could be! If you like someone you could see if you will get married! Any  upcoming  wars would not be unknown to you! You could do so many things with it! So come here to the MM and buy it!
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Attention all jesters, jokers, or anyone that enjoys dancing!

Are you forever messing up your dance routine, in front our humble King or in front of that “special someone”. Or do you try to run but they just wont budge? If this has happened to you, maybe you should come to my stand at the Magic Market. At my stand you can spend your hard earned coins on my elves shoes. With these shoes you shall never mess up another dance again! Instead you can sit back, relax, and have you feet do whatever dance you tell them to. For example if I were to say box step to them then they’ll do the box step; once I say the magic spell of course. But what if your just can’t make the King laugh you might ask? Well, tell the shoes to do a funny routine and their guarantied a new “roll on the ground laughing” dance every time.

~For more information send me a pigeon to: Salvator the Wizard

Fish falling from the sky!!
by:Bubble

There was a tragic event in greater greensward.  There were fish falling from the sky! Some of the people who saw these fish falling from the sky said it was extraordinary! Others reacted badly and screamed, then ran home. Once this extraordinary event ended some of the people and creatures ran out from their homes and onto the fish covered street and 30 fish each! I saw a nymph grab 70! This event probably made history!

The New Revised Gazette
by Princess Emeralda

After a good start, the gazette faced a serious setback when harpies invaded the neighborhood of the editor, Oakley Treekin.  Although the tree in which Oakley lives was not damaged, the surrounding area was so befouled that he and his neighbors were forced to move.  Oakley has now relocated to a lovely neighborhood in the Enchanted Forest, and has once again agreed to shoulder the task of editing the kingdom’s gazette.  He has also enlisted the help of new staff reporters whose work you can enjoy today.  Thank you, reporters, for helping Oakley inform and entertain the subjects of Greater Greensward.  Should anyone have any suggestions for future article topics for the gazette, Oakley Treekin may be reached by contacting Oakleytreekin@gmail.com .

Lydia’s magic goat milk soap!

Hello my name is Lydia Mithers and I sell magic goat milk soap made in my own home. It shrinks anything you wash with it except humans. Try this brand new product! Its amazing properties shrink the biggest boulders. If you feel like you want to move to a new location but you don’t feel like packing or switching cabins? Make moving a to a new location a snap with Lydia’s magic goat milk soap! You think mountain lions are cute and the thing for you but they are just to big for your house just use Lydia’s magic soap and you will instantly have a ferocious lion that’s the size of a kitten! All you do is wet the object and then scrub with the soap and rinse, your object will start shrinking instantly. If you decided you want to set that lion back to the wild that’s just fine, all you do is wet, scrub and rinse again and its instantly back to the size it was before you shrunk them!
It is amazing and I hope to see you at the magic marketplace.

INVISIBILITY CHUG SOLD HERE!!

Hello there! My name is Paige, I have just opened the most convenient Magic  Marketplace stall! What am I selling? Invisibility Chug! Invisibility Chug is in a big, long bottle. You can’t see it, but you can taste it! You won’t have to pick from flavors, you just have to think of a flavor, and once you chug . . . the liquid will taste like what you thought! Invisibility Chug turns you invisible for 1 hour if you take 1 chug, 2 hours
for 2 chugs, etc. Are you wondering how much this wonderful product costs? Only 4 coins! To identify my stall it may smell like the rainforest around it, look for me, I will be wearing a long robe,that has the jungle on it. When I move, the jungle on my robe comes to life! Or look for my pointy ears (I am half fairy, half human). You could also look for my strawberry-blonde hair. Do you want this product? Well, Invisibility Chug and other
miraculous items are only a visit away!

Aquatis' Magical Shells For Sale

Imagine you are sitting on a beach and you feel a warm ocean beach breeze you open your eyes and see a beautiful turquoise ocean if front of you its clear as crystal. You see a beautiful phoenix red as blood fly in the distance you see a conch shell next to you you grab it and then you are in your bedroom on your bed. Your are tan relaxed and ready to tackle the day. Do you wish this was real? Well it can be if you stop by the Aquatis stall you can pick out any shell you want and presto you have your own island oasis. Its great for witches will a sore head from raking up spells, for trolls who have had a long day chasing and devouring humans, for nymph who needs a bit of saltwater back in her life. It makes a great gift it never runs out. For those young magic creatures who aren't very popular you'll be the envy of all your friends. Come buy an Aquatis shell and never have a day were you were wishing you were at a beach.

Hello and good day to all of the fair citizens of Greater Greensward!

Today I bring you great news of my most recent discovery, the Mesmerizing Mirror! Is the morgue down the street howling with Banshees, do you have a witch of an in-law who is “practicing” her natural disaster spells? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then the Mesmerizing Mirror is right for you! Also at the convenient and inexpensive price of 20 coins why wouldn’t you buy it?!?! It’s very simple to use too, just hold it up in front of you, relax and recite the following simple incantation:

Mirror, Mirror in front of me
How sleepy it makes thee
Eye lids heavy and mouth gone slack
And let me dream, don’t hold back

Within seconds you will be sleeping like a baby! All you have to do to wake up is dream yourself awake, it’s a easy as that! You’ll never again have to toss in turn until dawn.

Purchase will not be returnable after the 30 day warranty.
Wingfeather & Willowtree Magical Merchandise!

I, Cardinal Wingfeather, have been training as an
apprentice to the great witch Wilma Willowtree for several years. We’ve come up with many useful inventions, including
the floating basket, colorchanging box, and antitheft purse. Although these objects are useful, we’ve come up with something that will benefit anyone who decides to buy it: The
Everlasting Magical Silk Worm! Spinning nine square inches
per minute of the finest quality silk of your choice of thirteen
colors, the ten gold coins you invest in this will clothe your whole family forever. With the money you save, you could
finally be able to afford something you’ve always wanted!

A Letter to Gazette Readers from Mistress Celeste of the Red Mountains!

Dear Reader,

Are you in need of a protector? Or something to keep you company? Well I am writing this to tell you about myself and my newest and greatest product, I am Mistress Celeste. I am a witch in my own home. My home is in the red mountains south of Greater Greensward. My husband and I are inventors. We are both dwarves, but my mother was part fairy. My husband Irwin and I like to make things out of rock. He actually made my wedding ring. Any-who, our newest invention is a stone dragon. I know it doesn’t sound like much at first but this dragon is made from rock that has been hit by dragon fire. It is very special. Not many people know this but when certain materials get hit by magical flame like dragon fire, it comes alive. All the rock needs to finish its’ new life is to take the form of its magic provider, which is a dragon in this case, and it will come to life before your eyes. The stone we used to make our dragons aren’t normal gray color. No, the stone we use is multi-colored. The dragons vary from big to small as well. The dragons are wonderful protectors and company. Do not treat them as pets mind you, they are not animals, they are stone. Also, they don’t eat much, just give them a pound of stone every other year, and they don’t need water. Come to the burgundy stall at the Magic Market Place to get one. We can haggle prices there.

Thank you,

Mistress Celeste of the red mountains
The Ultimate Armor

   Are you tired of always having to wear heavy armor to every battle? Well you don’t have to anymore! Introducing the Ultimate Armor!! They’re just regular clothes but when you put them on, nothing can hurt you! For both guys and girls, these clothes are made of the finest and lightest of fabrics. How can this be possible you ask? The clothes have a Health and Safety charm on them which is everlasting. They’re water-proof, fire-proof, and weapon-proof! So no matter where you go, no harm will come to you as long as you’re wearing these clothes. Plus, for just a few coins more, I’ll personalize an outfit for you. Or, if you prefer, I could even charm an outfit you already own! Just give me one small bag of coins and you’re on your way!! So come see me at the Magic Marketplace today!!! I’m in a booth on the far end of the marketplace with a crimson and black stripped top.

                                                                                                                                                                ~Elli
Finding Telescopes and Remboxes
FOR SALE!!

           Do you need help finding things that you lost or forgot things that you were supposed to remember? Well a Finding Telescope and a Rembox helps you do just that! Let me give you a brief description of each one! 
The Finding Telescope: helps people find lost things just about anywhere!

Rembox:  reminds you of what you need to do just in case if you forget about it. A rembox also lets you store any memories just in case it someone puts a memory charm on you for forgetting things.

           These things are very useful! Each item can be sold for just 5 coins each! If you buy both, then you will get a magical item of you choice, like self-writing quills, time traveling wand, talking and searching book (it could tell you where something is. For example. If you call out “Show me a dragon” it will show you all kinds of dragons and where they live.), and a thief- catching whistle!

            REMEMBER! THESE ITEMS ARE ON SALE AT THE MAGIC MARKET PLACE! LOOK FOR THE STALL UNDER A RAINBOW COLORED CANOPY!

HAPPY SHOPPING!!

P.S. Ask for a witch named Mandy or Amanda!
Magic Mind Readers!

People shopping here at the Magic Marketplace should come check out my item. My name is Anastasia and I am selling mind-readers. You should spend your hard earned coins on my items because you probably wonder what people are thinking about allot. Now you don't have to wonder with the mind-reader.
Magical nail products made naturally and in Greater Greensward!

by: Lady Mary

Are you planning on visiting the greater greensward market? Well if you have the time stop by my all natural magical nail products booth. When you shop here you can buy a clear bottle of nail polish that will change colors according to your mood, we call this mood polish. We also sell all the supplies to take care and clean your nails.But our top seller is  pair of clippers that cuts your nails according to the style you are looking for and the shape of your hands and fingers. We also sell colors of polish that stay the same, but magically smell like fruit and flowers. We even sell a very nice base coat that protects your nails from sun and wind damage and makes it easier to clean. We sell magic hand and foot massagers that get your hands and feet ready for mani/pedis. We sell so much more then described so come on down to the market and see what suits you!


Ramblin's From Bob the Stableman...

Hello and Good Day fine readers,


  Bob here! I have been so busy tending the royal stables that I have neglected my column for the Greater Greensward Gazette. My apologies. I am happy to report that we were able to convince my helpful volunteer maiden to stay on until she gets married or runs off and help with Big D, the unicorn who won't leave. He has decided that he enjoys living in the jousting arena...he thinks that he is helpful and sometimes tries to partake in the jousts!!! I have decided that the best way to distract this beast is to find a lady unicorn to occupy his time. So if you happen to hear of a nice lady unicorn looking for a new home...please send word to me, Bob the Stableman!
 
  In other news, I have discovered that escapee flying pigs can be caught using chocolate covered honeybees as a lure. Just throw them in the air and the pigs come a flying right for them. Just watch out, because the pigs don't have very good steering and they do tend to fly into each other in their rush to catch the bees.

  I would also like to announce that the Brune Hildey's baby moat monsters are now Teenagers!!! This is good and worse news. Good because they are now going to start moving on to their own moats. Worse news because they do tend to play tricks and tease those that they encounter on their journeys.  So if you encounter one of the teenage moat monsters, DO NOT engage them in conversation or laugh at their jokes, that will only encourage them and they may decide that they should come and live with you! Don't say you haven't been warned. I may have to start charging a fee if I have to come and help get rid of them for you. I can be found around or near the stables, just ask after Bob.
Letter to the Editor, Oakley Treekin

from Princess Grassina

It has come to my attention that a number of people living in and around the castle are dumping their trash in the moat.  Please do not do that!  The moat does not magically clean itself; I have to do it.  Lately I have been using a spell to collect all the trash in a lump and compress it into a solid block.  The stone masons have been using the blocks to fill in a dragon-created hole in the south wall. (It was an accident and the dragon has already apologized.)  However, the hole is now filled in and we have no further use for these multicolored blocks. 

Although I clean the moat twice a week, the moat monsters have been complaining that the water tastes foul and two of them have come down with bad rashes.  Some of our monsters have also begun to mutate into less than desirable forms.  Please, if you live in or around the castle, use the designated dumping ground at the end of the tilting yard.  Dragons incinerate the trash placed there every other Thursday.  Remember to separate your recyclables.  A clean moat is a happy moat!  Thank you for helping to keep it that way.