Vol. 4 No. 1www.talesofedbaker.comSunday January 16, 20111 page
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The Fairies’ Midsummer’s Eve Ball was gorgeous!

  I attended the ball and it was wonderful. The ball took place in a far corner of the enchanted forest, a very secluded area. Many great fairies came, even Mary Anna (one of the world’s greatest fairy models). All fairies looked wonderful in their gowns (and some in robes, too). Though I saw many wonderful dresses, it was hard to pick some favorites, but I did. My first favorite gown was one made entirely of violet petals and vines. The dress looked like it was grown that way-which I bet it was.  It was delicate and overall fascinating! My other favorite was a dark blue gown that had a V-cut neck. The gown went to the fairies’ ankles and looked like it was made of blue stars.

  The food was scrumptious! The first serving of blueberry-rosemary pie was gone in a flash and they had to bring out more. Also the stuffed mushrooms were excellent, with their delectable stuffing, vegetarian of course (most fairies are appalled when it comes to eating meat).

  During the party, great havoc happened (I was there when it started). We of course had maple punch, as we do every year, but this year a very clumsy fairy (I won’t mention any names) was drifting across the floor to get some of the last stuffed mushrooms, maple punch in hand, when she tripped on someone’s gown.  (As she explained later, though we are all stumped on the matter- how do you trip in mid-air?)  She spilled her maple punch on everyone’s gowns. Nobody knew what happened or who spilled it, but they were getting mad. Soon people were yelling at each other, splashing punch in each other’s faces and, it was chaotic! I saw some very
lovely gowns ruined that night.  Much to my disappointment; some of my snow robes got a good splashing too. When everything was calmed down, and the fairy explained, everyone was hungry from the yelling, flying around, and splashing, and we all decided to eat some of the delicious food. When we reached the food table, it was empty. One of the fairies claimed she had seen goblins steal it all! The ball was a wreck again, however this time no one was fighting.  Everyone was trying to find the goblins, but nobody did. After all this, the fairies went home one-by-one. I volunteered to help clean up. That, I’d say, was the most interesting party I’ve been to in my life.

Thank you,
Mistress Celeste of the Red Mountains
Hello Greater Greensward!

It’s me, Simon Green—I’m sure you all know me some way or another. In case you don’t, I’m an average fairy with an above-average message for you all.

We all like to go places—some of us travel by magic, but others of us use different methods. One of the most stylish, comfortable, and convenient of these methods is by carriage, and like all items, magical and nonmagical, you need to be sure to choose the correct one.

You can ask anyone who rides one, and they’ll all agree—pumpkin carriages are by far the best. They’re fashionable, and very good looking. They come in two colors—eye-catching orange and elegant white—and are large enough inside to be roomy and comfortable. Price is another big plus to a pumpkin carriage—they are very reasonable. There is a lot of competition on the vegetable carriage market, but don’t be fooled by anyone trying to sell you a turnip on wheels—pumpkins are substantial enough to be durable, large and hollow enough to be comfortable, and the best-looking thing on the streets of the Magic Marketplace. Well, maybe second to Yours Truly.

I’m pretty sure the choice is clear—pumpkin carriages are by far the greatest way to travel. I hope to see you all around the MM, and maybe next time you’ll be riding in style.

Yours Truly,
Simon Green

Magic Market Mayhem!?
By: Salvator the wizard


  I’m sorry to report, but it’s true. Sunday there were a couple robberies at the M.M. Only two items were stolen; but very dangerous items if in the wrong hands. The items stolen were,
-A wish on a star
-And a phoenix feather (used to summon a phoenix)

  The victims are the owner of the stand with the gold canopy, Dezzary the star, and a Leprechaun employee (the stand with the orange canopy) who would like to remain anonymous. There was also a witness to one of the crimes;

Maybelle (a local pixie)
“It was horrible” explained Maybelle.
“I’m sure it was. Can you tell me what they looked like?”
“Well, there was two of them…One was green and had warts all over him. He also had a faint branding on his back”
“Hmmm sounds like a troll, but the only troll ever branded was…”
“Toader I know, but it was said he was driven out of the kingdom.”
“Do you think he could have returned?”
“Absolutely!”
“So tell me about the other guy”
“He had…He had…”sobbed Maybelle.  “…..this thing about him that would send a shiver down your spine. Just the way he walked and talked.  He looked like he was made of sand.”
“Do you think that he was the sandman?”
“Who‘s that??”
“He‘s a man that is completely made of sand. He wear's a black hat and…”
“That’s him!”
“Are you absolutely sure?”
“Of coarse I‘m sure!”
“Well then, thanks you for your time.”

  Now I’m sure we all know that it’s impossible to steal anything in the magic market. However most people don’t know why it’s impossible. The reason is, at night when the magic market is closed, there is a protective barrio around the M.M. It is impossible to pass through because 1) it’s see-through and 2) when it senses you get sent to the troll caverns. During the day however, the dragons are the watchers. They fly over the magic market. If they see anything out of ordinary they’d take it up with the suspect. But let’s say the suspect runs or uses an invisibility cloak, then the dragons would seek him out using their noses.

  I’m sure you’re all wondering “What is being done about this?”  Well, I’ve alerted every kingdom and every village nearby. We also have a search party and the whole dragon council looking for the thieves. On top of that, we have 2 psychics and the best detective working this case. However, M.M. is shut down until we have any further information.


*If you have any clues or tips, please go to the castle and ask for Salvator the Wizard.  (Yes, you can remain anonymous.)*
The Enchanted Forest Hiking Club

Our report is on the enchanted forest hiking club. I wrote a letter to Jerry Silin who is the dwarf who runs the club, saying that Priscilla, my hen, and I would like to meet him and find out more about the organization. Two days later his assistant Miranda Aniwa wrote back saying that Mr. Silin would very much like to meet up and asked if we were available Thursday afternoon to meet him at the Turquoise Turtle Tavern. So Thursday afternoon I grabbed my hat, ink, and unused parchments.  When I opened the door, Priscilla flew across the room, landed on my black hat and we were off! 

We walked into the Triple T and said hi to Melvin as he seated us. Seconds later Mr. Silin joined us and gave me a firm handshake. He is a very nice, portly dwarf man with a thick Boolean accent.  His assistant Miranda came in and apologized for being late. After we ordered, I pulled out a clean parchment and some ink, then reached up over the brim of my hat and plucked a feather from Priscilla’s bedraggled tail. She squawked in protest and then we got to work.

Here are the questions I asked Mr. Silin as well as his replies.
Q. When does the club meet?  What time?  And how often?
A. It meets once a week on Wednesdays at 6-o’clock right outside of the castle, although we do meet elsewhere upon occasion.
Q. How do you join?
A. Just write a quick letter to me or my assistant Miranda Aniwa.
Q. What requirements do you need to join?
A. You must be between the ages of 14 and 75 and you need to be skilled with a weapon or magic.  NO exceptions! Membership is free, but hiking supplies are not provided.  A list of things you need is provided when you join.
Q. How do you know if you’ve been accepted? 
A. Once you send a letter stating that you meet the requirements, you will receive one back saying either you have or have not been accepted. If you have been accepted, the letter will also say the time, date, and place you are to meet with me.
Q. Do you have anything else to add? 
A. Yes, I do.  There are no requirements for the new member meeting which is this Wednesday, so come and try it out!  We could encounter dragons, griffins, unicorns, and dryads!  Maybe you’ll fall in love with the water itself as we hike by the enchanted falls or perhaps the treetops call to you as we climb the highest and widest tree in Greater Greensward! You have a chance to do all these things and more with the official Enchanted Forest Hiking Club!

Written by George Barley and Priscilla, his pet chicken.


A Different kind of Bride & Groom

Hey everyone Aquatis here. I am doing an article on inter-species marriage this week. I am getting the scoop on trolls and witches, mermaids and faeries, and of course dragons and humans. I personally think inter-species marriages are  great.Someone not caring about what you are and what you look like just because you love them is truly wonderful. I interviewed some people and here is what they said.

Tantalea The Troll
Q: How hard is it living with a witch or warlock?
A: It difficult, but we love each other.

Q: How do your kids adjust with magic going on in their home?
A:They are fine.  They love their papa.  I am fine with them knowing the magic that is beyond us trolls.

Q: Is it difficult to raise kids who take partially after their father who has magic when you have none?
A:No.  I love for them to show me what they learn from papa.  I do have some magic.  My great great great great grandpa was a king before he was overthrown.


Q:My last question is - do you think you will stay with your husband for good?
A: Yes.  I love him and always will.  I hope he loves me too.


Miwata the Mermaid
Q:You are married to a faerie, correct?
A: Yes, and we have three beautiful, glowing children!

Q:I see.  How do your kids live?  Are they mermaid or faerie or in between?
A: We have interesting children.  They have tails like me, but when on land they have legs and can fly.  It is a gift.  They spend their morning with me at mermaid school and in the afternoon they fly with their father to learn faerie things.  At night he joins us at our private island .

At a toll with no money for the Troll?

  Bob here. Have you ever been heading out or returning from a journey and found yourself facing a disgruntled troll at a toll bridge and you find your pockets are empty? Well, I have and its no picity-nic. First rule of thumb- DO NOT try to argue or reason with the troll. He will not budge in his collection habits. He will also not let you come back and pay him later (they generally only fall for that trick once!) if it's a young troll you may be able to try the pay later dash but really I have only gotten lucky with this maneuver once.

You have two real options if you have to continue on your journey. First- you can attempt to walk farther downstream and cross by foot through the stream and not over the bridge. This may add time to your journey but often is a successful way to evade the troll toll. Your second option is to try to hire a flying beast of burden. But if you have no money to pay the toll you probably don't have the money to hire a flying beast. So really you have one other option, which would be to go home and remember the next time you are headed down a road with a troll toll take money with you to pay the toll. Its the easiest way to continue on your journey.
As always- I hope my advice was somewhat helpful.

Meltingly warm regards-
Bob the Stableman
A letter to the Editor

Dear Oakley Treekin,

  My name is Grandma Ann and I live in the old witches retirement community. I am outraged with what these (kids) monsters are doing to my house. My neighbors are also having problems with things eating their houses and it needs to stop. One witch’s house was completely destroyed. She had to move away because of it.

  The other night it seemed silent until I heard a nasty growl and saw sharp fangs poked through my roof. There was a whole swarm of monstrous kids with fangs, spiky hair, and wings. I tried everything to make them go away, but they wouldn’t leave. They were eating everything, even the things not made of candy.

  The children continued to eat until the sun started rising. They covered their eyes and flew away. They have been going house to house each night and we need your help. Please help us.

                                                                              Sincerely,

Grandma Ann
~~~~~NEW~~~~~
Everlasting Magical Dancing Shoes!!!!!

The new and amazing Everlasting Magical Dancing Shoes are now available at the Magic Marketplace. They come in everyones size (they are magical and will make themselves fit to anyones feet, INCLUDING GIANTS!!!). You can close your eyes and make a wish and they will amazingly match whatever you are wearing. WARNING: They are hard to remove if you wish for the color match while you are naked!! These amazing shoes can dance all night and never get tired, you might but your shoes sure won't. Have you ever wondered if you could keep up with those crazy dancing princess'??? Now you can with these AMAZING Everlasting Magical Dancing Shoes!!!! Quantities limited and they will only be on sale while supplies last. First 25 customers will recieve a new bottomless bag made by the Everlasting Co.